OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
