I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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