Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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