The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
