Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
even my farts smell like vagina
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
