you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
