I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
How's work?
Spinning.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Success! We fucked roommates!
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
