she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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