I am spending my child support on dildos
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
