I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
