that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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