Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
