this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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