Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
