i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
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