dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
