Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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