I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
