Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
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