even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
