maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
