Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
