Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
