how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
