do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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