I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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