i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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