I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
