I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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