That's when you crack a 10am beer
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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