Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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