I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
