Sry I called you an 8
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
