In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
