I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
