Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Randomize
