put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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