Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
