Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
