There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Randomize
