How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
