If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
