HIV tests are more positive than that guy
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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