I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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