Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
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