Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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