I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
