is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
