When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
