that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
